by Taraivosa Daucakacaka

Have you ever been challenged by this? 29 years ago, I was challenged by this very statement. The words a very close friend whispered to me that my husband of 7 years was having an extra-marital affair, spun me into a vortex of negative emotions and tears that I didn’t know how to handle. My world as I knew it then, had come crashing down all around me, and I was devastated and humiliated. I was a young mother of a 2 ½ year old boy, and 2 months pregnant with my second child. Reconciliation wasn’t an option with him, dialogue did nothing and this cold war went on for another three years before he moved out of our home. During that time, he had fathered two other children from two different women. What should I do? I was rejected by the man I vowed before God, family and friends to honor, love, cherish and obey, until death do us part.

I chose to turn to older Christian women friends who were already reaching out to me and joined their weekly Bible Study and Prayer group. It was there that the Lord opened my spiritual eyes to see what this experience had done to my life. My life was one of low self-esteem, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness and hatred. The truth of the word of God became a light unto my path and my baby faith began to grow. I learned that I should forgive and love my enemies, “The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:8 NASB), that God had forgiven me through Jesus Christ’s crucifixion and death on the cross at Calvary, burial, resurrection, and ascension to Heaven. Forgiving the father of my two sons was the biggest hurdle which He helped me overcome, “But if you did not forgive other people, then your Father will not forgive your offenses.” (Mathew 6:15 NASB). I thank God that walking in these truths of love and forgiveness stirred me up to reach out to my ex-husband and the mothers of his other two children. It has been now 24 years when I completely forgave them and became friends instead of enemies. My two sons have forgiven, too, and are very close to their younger siblings and their respective mothers. How it happened is another testimony of what only God can do.

My dear brothers and sisters-in-Christ, forgiving and loving someone who has offended you deeply, cannot be done on your own strength, you need God to be able to truly forgive and to love the object of your bitterness and unforgiveness. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13)

Discussion Question

How did this testimony challenge you or stir up in you?

Prayer Point

Seek God to help you, friends, family, governments, and nations to be forgiving and to love because God loved us first.